Friday, June 26, 2009

R.I.P Oh, King of POP!!!!

He came, He Saw and He Conquered!!! is what is said about Alexander the Great.

These words will not suffice Him. What will be apt according to me is as follows:

He Came, He Sang, He Break-Danced, He Moon walked, He Ruled, He fell from Grace and He will LIVE ON!!!!
MJ was the reason why I started listening to western music in the first place. I cannot imagine any other way folks of my generation especially in the Third World countries would have started following western music. I still remember the first MJ label I bought (in fact that was my first non Hindi cassette too) of the album "Dangerous" featuring hits like "Jam", "Why you want to trip on me", "Black or White" and of course "Dangerous". Only I know how I convinced my dad in buying me that. It cost Rs 125 at that time when other Hindi film songs cassette were worth a mere Rs 25. I still treasure that moment when I first played the cassette on my deck.
After that began the process of discovering MJ's music, be it Thriller, Blood on the Dance Floor, History. It was amazing.

The moon-walk, much has been talked, praised and written about it. But at some point of time I did believe that Neil Armstrong did do that on the moon. But I guess it was after Armstrong set foot on the moon that the moon-walk came to earth via MJ!!!
An artist who told us to "Keep the Faith" no matter if you are "Black or White". An artist who wanted us to "Heal the World" by asking us "Will you be there?"(all these are numbers from his album Dangerous. I just love all of them :) )
A life of merely 50 years and yet having so much. A life experiencing the glitz and glory of success and the disgrace of been termed a peadophiliac. A life as unpredictable as the moves of break-dance itself, off which he was and will remain the greatest proponent.

Micheal Joseph Jackson a.k.a MJ a.k.a Jacko The true KING OF POP will live on in our hearts!!!
I leave you with one of my favourite MJ numbers: Black or White!!!

(Tomorrow I will be playing the album Dangerous on my cassette player and am going to try and relive those magic moments. Thank you MJ!!!)

Friday, June 19, 2009

Who says it is your legs that make you run faster!!!???

Like most of the middle class Indian families having salaried parents in the early 90’s Bata was the official footwear of our family. Right from my parents, uncles, aunts and ofcourse me and my sister everybody was a proud owner of a Bata footwear be it sandals, slippers, school (read formal :P) shoes and also sports (read casual) shoes.

Getting a new pair of shoes was not an easy task. Feelings were not at all considered. It all depended not on the mental state (“want”) of the person who wanted new shoes but on the physical state of the item (read shoe). Also because my foot was still growing as I was only in Std VI the shoe which was purchased was already one size larger to accommodate any future increase in my shoe size. Even after 8 months my stubborn pair of Bata was in mint condition, so although I wanted one, I didn’t exactly need one. But Aditya (my childhood nemesis) had just got a new pair of shoes and he was showing it off in the colony much to my envy L. But how could I bargain with dad? I didn’t have a reason, the shoe though old was neither broken nor was it ill fitting me, plus I had too much of self-respect in me to cry and make a scene of it at home. Aditya would easily hear it all and make fun of it when I get my new shoes and brand me a cry-baby for good. I just had one respectable way to earn my new pair and I was going to get there without fail.

That night at dinner, I somehow had to broach the topic of the shoe.

At the dinner table, dad was busy listening to the evening news on radio. Though we had a TV, mother decreed that food was never to be served in front of the TV which was in the living room (that time it was known just as the HALL), and as dinner time clashed with the evening news, dad made up for it by getting the news on AIR. As I occupied my seat to the left of dad and in front of mom, my sister’s empty seat at the table caught my eye. I was relieved. Good that she is out for a CAMP with her classmates. She was sure to mess up the conversation.

After the newsreader read out the headlines, I started. Dad was more receptive after the headlines are done. Experience you see.

Me (to no one in particular) : I scored 10 runs today. Aditya ran me out with a direct hit. Rakesh was the umpire and I am sure he cheated. He always sides with Aditya.

No reply. This is bad. I have to sound a bit more interesting.

Me (to no one in particular) : I scored 10 runs today. Aditya ran me out with a direct hit. Rakesh was the umpire and I am sure he cheated. He always sides with Aditya.

(dumb me, I repeated myself with just a bit of increase in my volume)

Mom: Ohh that’s great. 10 runs is not bad. But run out. You should have ran faster, beta.

Yessss…mom you are the greatest. Right where I wanted to get the conversation. Run faster.

Me: You are right, I tried but the problem is that my shoes can take me only that fast you see. Aditya has these new Bata shoes, he got yesterday and they can take him faster than mine for sure. That’s how he got to the ball so quickly and ran me out na!!!!

Dad (with a look of feigned inquisitiveness): Ohh so it is the shoes which make you run faster and not your legs?

I knew it will be difficult. If Aditya had ran me out, Dad had sure bowled me and right now he was not even wearing any shoes.

Me: Ahh Mom, can you please pass me the chapattis.

Mom: Come on Advait, what is the problem with your shoes. They are good. I don’t even think they are torn. You just want new shoes for no reason.

Needless to say that the conversation ended there. In the next week, Aditya ran me out 5 more times :)

Barely 10 days since our last ‘shoe conversation’ Dad was walking me to the cricket ground in the evening. He was out for a walk as he was back from work early.

Dad: So Advait, how many times did you get run out after that. You never told us.

Me (with renewed vigor): 10 times. (I lied; I had got run out only 5 times)

Dad: That is too much. Your shoes are really slow. When did we buy them?

Me (now we are talking Dad. I love you): We bought them last Diwali. Its being 8 months I think.

Dad: 8 months.OK!! Did you try running harder with your shoes

Me (with a sad face): Yes dad, I tried but Aditya’s new shoes are faster.

Damn the ground had to come so fast and that Aditya why did he have to call me. The conversation ended again :(

That night at the dinner table.

Dad: So how did the game go?

Mom (even before I could reply): Don’t ask him about the game, he has not been studying regularly lately. For two days I am observing that he just goes out and plays once he is back from school and then returns home all tired and hardly even completes his homework.

Me: That is not true. You can check my books. I complete my homework.

Mom: I know how you do it, sitting in front of your class before the morning assembly copying it from your friend’ notebook. Ashu told me everything.

Ashu is my elder sister. I forgot to mention that the CAMP was of only one week and she was back occupying the dinner table seat in front of dad.

On hearing mom, she grinned from side to side and even winked an eye at my direction. I just made a sad face (what else could I do??)

Dad: Ohh that’s news. Btw has this Semesters prize been decided?

The Semester’s prize was one thing I always looked forward too. Every semester a prize was mutually decided upon by me and didi together with mom and dad and at the end of the semester depending on us fulfilling our part of the deal, the prize was given out. Our part was invariably related with performance in school. Sometimes it was the rank in the class, sometimes performance in a particular subject. Sometimes it was related to excelling in extra curricular activities. Thanks to this over the years I had acquired (or won) a brick game, a mitashi video game, a HERO RANGER, a waist pouch and I knew it when dad mentioned it at the dinner table that this time it was going to be the new Bata Shoes :)

Me: No, it has not been decided and I want new Bata shoes this time around.

I thought I just screamed and everybody looked at me with smiling faces.

Dad: Ok done, but only if you stand first in class. Do you agree?

Me: It’s a deal.

Standing first in the class was not difficult. I had already cut Sarang’s lead by 4 marks in the first exam. I could have surpassed him then but for that sum which I got wrong in the science paper. This time I was sure I could make up for the four marks and go ahead of Sarang.

I started studying in right earnest and even stopped going to my evening cricket games a week before we had decided to stop playing cricket because of the impending exams. Aditya had a great time when I was not around. He went around boasting that Advait doesn’t turn up to play because I run him out and he can’t run that fast in his shoes!!!! Plus Sarang never played cricket and always studied so if I had to beat him I had to do something drastic.

The exams went well and I was more than sure that this time Sarang was going to bite the dust and the new pair of Bata Shoes were mine for the taking.

1st May, I together with Dad entered my classroom. It was result day. I was not at all nervous and edgy like a few of my classmates whom I had seen in the corridor. Sarang was already there with both his parents. “He always likes to show off; what is the need to bring both your parents”, I thought. Now it was a different issue that my mother could never make it for my result as she herself was a teacher and had to go to her school to give out the results for her class J

My Dad and Sarang’s dad knew each other, so even when they started talking I and Sarang avoided each other.

My class teacher, Madam Thomas called me over and handed me the report card and congratulated me. Now it was sure, I had got the first rank, but then why was Sarang looking so happy and why was Dad looking at me when I was about to open my report card?

This is impossible, I was second. Sarang had again got the first rank. I could not believe it. I had scored a 648 out of 750. My percentage was better than my performance last time but Sarang had still out-performed me. With a shaky voice I asked Madam Thomas, “How much did the topper score?” I know it was Sarang but I did not want to take his name. “Oh you mean Sarang, he too got 648.” I was stumped. “Even I got 648, Madam then how am I ranked second?” I said demanding an explanation.

“Listen Advait, both of you finished on the same score but because Sarang scored more in the last exam and this result is after two exams, he was ranked first” explained Madam Thomas. “This is unfair” I muttered under my breath and stormed outside the class only to wait in the corridor with tears running down my cheeks. In a short while Dad came out and took my report card and looked through it.

He congratulated me, and hugged me. With this I started crying more. I could feel that Dad’s shoulder was getting wet with my tears. He looked at me wiped my tears and handed me a FIVE STAR. This was the ritual for every result day. But today I was crying because for the first time I had not fulfilled my end of the deal. “I don’t want the shoes, Baba” I announced in a tone which was bordering on sobbing. “We will see about that. Let’s get home” said Dad


By the time I reached home, my crying had stopped but my eyes were still red. Didi was already home and happy. I could see that she had fulfilled her part of the deal. She did not want dad to accompany her to her class to get the result after all she was in Std IX and could take care of herself and her emotionsJ. I flopped on the sofa not in the mood to talk to anybody. In a short while Mom got home and even she was happy with my performance.

I was not first and that was the plain truth. I didn’t deserve the shoes!!!! I didn’t go to play cricket that evening. When my friends came to call me I told them that I was not feeling well. My dad was watching all this. After my friends left he came to me and asked, “Advait so you are not going to try your new shoes!!!??”

“NEW SHOES!!! Baba how is it possible, I did not stand first!!!!” said I sinking low in the sofa.

“But you did stand first Advait, remember the deal was only for this exam and in this exam you scored 4 marks more than Sarang and you did finish first. Congratulations here are your new pair of Bata shoes like you wanted. Now wear them and tell me if they fit you or not!!!!!” said Dad.

I couldn’t believe what Dad had said. He was right I actually had stood first. This prize was only for this exam and not for the combined exam. I had beaten Sarang to it. I raced to the shoe rack and there was the box of shoes waiting to be opened by me. I pulled out the shoes and stood gaping at them. “They are too good” I shouted. “Thanks a lot Baba!!!”

I quickly wore my socks and put on my new shoes and ran off towards the ground. That evening everybody was impressed with my shoes. Aditya was quieter than usual. I scored 15 runs and remained not out. Aditya tried twice but he could not run me out.

Who says it is your legs that make you run faster!!!!???

Monday, June 15, 2009

Cristiano who??!!!!

Finally CRy leaves Old Trafford for the greener pastures of the Santiago Bernabeu and becomes the second target of President Perez. After pocketing Kaka for a cool 56million gbp he has secured the services of Ronaldo too; all this to bring the era of the Galacticos back as he promised on his re-election to the top seat of Madrid football.
Personally I am more happy than even CRy to see him go. First because he caused a lot of heartburn to Arsenal and according to me in more ways than one was responsible for the kind of season Manchester United enjoyed this time around. Second, though I like his footballing skills I could never come around to respect him for the arrogance he portrayed. Not to mention how he regaled audience and referees alike with his diving attics. So all and all I am happy that he is not in the EPL anymore. Though I wish Arsene's men get some through him in the Europa league next season :P
But on the money front Manchester United got a more than a decent deal. Remember Man Utd signed this kid from Sporting Lisbon for a mere 12 million gbp and today if i am not wrong after only 2 seasons they are getting returned 80 million gbp. Great return on investment especially in these times of recession.

The United faithful will feel dismayed because they lost a real talent but then I think they knew that Ronaldo's heart never bled the United RED. Another interesting thing to see is that what number jersey will Perez give his new starry-eyed boy. Will he get no.7 to carry on with CR7 which now many will acknowledge is a brand in itself? But giving no 7 to Ronaldo will not be easy for no.7 belongs to the second (i think the first) most powerful man in Real Madrid and that is the King of Spainish football Raul!!!!! I am waiting for Ronaldo to work up some histrionics there too. I am sure that he will never cease to impress us both on the field and off it too.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

But It Seldom Comes True

(Heres continuing on my Farewell poems :) )

With a tearful eye you bid them aideu;
In return they promise to meet again.
But it seldom comes true.
But it seldom comes true.

You write farewell messages for them;
In return they promise to call you the very next day.
But it seldom comes true.
But it seldom comes true.

You watch them leave with dreams of a bright future in their eyes;
In return they console you saying, “Its not that difficult yaar, even you can make it.”.
But it seldom comes true.
But it seldom comes true.

After the ordeal you get back to your desk and stare into your monitor;
In return you resolve, that tomorrow will be different.
But it seldom comes true.
But it seldom comes true.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

For You TiTo

(This is my 3rd poem in the For You series. Over the years this is my 4th poem which I have written for or dedicated exclusively to a single person. TiTo is a nickname for Tirthadeep. He is a Bengali :) I know that you all know that I am not on all that great terms with Bengali boys (girls is a different matter. I mean Bengali girls have that innocence on their face and damn the eyes they make me go week in my knees. Sorry for losing focus :( .Anyways Tito sat next to me in my cubicle for a better part of his Infosys career and this is the least I could do. As he moves on to IMT Ghaziabad. Here wishing him all the best!!!!)

The cherubic dark face will remain,

Ever smiling, sometimes irritating.

The bespectacled eyes will stare back,

Ever inquisitive, sometimes childlike.

The forged bisceps and the forearms will remain,

Ever taut, sometimes paining.

The stories of how the weekend was spent will stare back,

Ever interesting, sometimes boring.

The "Ohh puhlease" and the "Bloody Hells" will remain,

Ever sarcastic, sometimes amusing.

The "My name is Tirthadeep, but you can call me Tito" will stare back,

Ever so wannabe, sometimes stylish.

The "Last Day" mail in my pst will remain

Ever longing, sometimes clichéd

The time you spent with us here will stare back,

Ever cherished, sometimes "too short"!!!!!!

Friday, June 05, 2009

The W/C (Water Closet)

English is not my mother tongue. Whatever little knowledge of English I have has been courtesy to my convent schooling and my hobby of reading novels but there are certain words or terms of the English language which I came to know pretty late in my life (by my standards. After all I was good at English in my school and was always a couple of exercises ahead in my Wren & Martin compared to my peers at school) and the "Water Closet" was one such term

I think I must have been in Std VI when I happened to pore over the plan of a bungalow which my friend's dad was constructing. So on the paper I was looking at rectangles marked as living room, dining room a small square marked as bathroom and there in a corner of that square was written W/C. "Hey Aditya, what is that W/C?" I asked immediately. "Kya Advait, tujhe itna bhi nahi malum" said my friend. It's a water closet. "Ohh yes yes!!!" is what I replied nodding my head. I didn't understand it completely then but I didn't want my friend to know it after all even he came to know ,what W/C stands for when he overheard his dad talking about the plan to one of his friends. The next six months I was imagining what a W/C would be like. Must be some closet I had gathered that much, I mean I was never devoid of logic you see. But a closet for what? Water??? That would be strange. I mean why would people store water in a closet? Is it not better stored in a tank or better still in bottles which are kept in a refrigerator?

I had to wait for 6 whole months in which time I passed a semester in school without knowing fully what exactly a W/C looked like. Now the bungalow was ready and as I was being lead through the living room to the master bedroom I tried to recollect where exactly on that paper W/C was written. I tentatively put the question across, " Hmm, Aditya where is the W/C exactly located.". "Ohh sorry I missed that." replied my friend. He turned around and flung open the door. "There is the W/C" he said. "Ohh wow!!!" I replied. That was not the most appropriate reply I know but I didn't know how to react that was the first time I was seeing the W/C J J J. "We went for the Indian style only, its cheaper na" added my friend. (Remember: We are talking about a middle class family in Nashik in the year 1996 building a bungalow out of the savings of a father who had got a pay hike a year back). "Ohh that's OK yaar, even this looks good." I said in a tone that according to me was to placate my friend. "Go ahead you can use it. No problems" he said almost pushing me inside. "Arre nahi. I was just curious" I said. Thank God he didn't force me into it or it would have been even more embarrassing.

So now I knew what a W/C meant. But somehow the Indian style W/C did not fully satisfy my logic of a closet. A closet according to me should have a door which should open and close and that the Indian style W/C does not have. The puzzle was still not entirely solved. But my thirst to get to the bottom of the ultimate W/C was to be quenched very soon.

Two months later I was busily gulping down one bowl of "aam ras" after another at a reception in a 3-Star hotel. I was dressed in my favorite jeans which was a bit bigger and longer for me. (those were the days when clothes for me were purchased keeping an eye on the future. After all I was a Complan boy;)) and my new t-shirt.

"Advait, I think that will be enough. Jar shee lagli tar mala sangu nakos"

(English translation: Advait, I think that will be enough what if you feel like crapping) said my elder sister.

"Kahi nahi honar, aaj me karun aalo ahe ghari aadhi" said I pompously.

(English translation: Don't worry nothing will happen, I have already don't that at home before coming here.)

With bowl number 6.5, my stomach missed a beat and I turned to my didi. Its amazing how the colour or even the size of the face changes when your tummy misfires. She gave me one look and instead of asking me what happened she started laughing.

"Me sangitle hote tula. Ata kay karnar??, Hehehehe".

(English translation: I had warned you before. Now tell me what you are going to do?)

I was not going to even open my mouth lest some air escapes causing a catastrophic which would scar me emotionally forever. She understood that the danger was grave and looking at my condition she decided not to waste time in referring my case to higher authorities (read my parents). I still owe her for that ;)

She quickly shepherded me to the nearby restroom and assured me that she would wait for me outside. I needed that physiological backing, it was my first time in a public place for a crap.

Inside to the left were the stalls. They were of no use I knew. It was behind the doors which lay to my right that my destiny was hidden. I opened the first door and what I saw inside was alien. How do I squat on this?

"Why does God have to test my mental ability and logical reasoning at such a critical juncture!!!!" I cursed under my breath.

Without a moment of indecision I decided that I would not squat on this. I decided instead to sit on it!!! The moment I sat, I knew that this was meant to be that I had won!!!!!

As I stood up feeling relieved and serene the lid caught my eye. I put it down and the alien thing on which I sat closed. At that moment I knew that this was the closet I was looking for. The W/C (Water Closet) had finally revealed itself to me. When I came out of the hotel restroom, I saw my sister waiting for me. I just glanced at her and with an air of "I know everything now" I proceeded to the lawn to join the others J