Sweet Nothings

“Here, you can hold him.”, the Ob-Gyn said enthusiastically in the labor room. The Mrs’ had only a minute ago held the new born briefly and now looked daggers drawn at me, clearly indicating that I better be careful. I politely said, "Not now. Maybe after some time?" The Ob-Gyn smiled. She had not missed the fact that my hands were still trembling watching this spectacle of life play out right in front of me merely a few minutes back.

Its been more than 9 months since that day my hands are not longer trembling. I am more adept at handling the little bug now. There are still quite a few things to learn, none more urgent than  the art of the 'Sweet Nothings'.

'Sweet Nothings' in this situation means the non sense you utter to the baby which should invoke either a cute smile or a guffaw from the little one. Only when you succeed at it are you certified to be 'baby-approved'.

This 'talk to the baby' thing doesn't seem to be working for me. It gets embarrassing on video calls with the family back in India, when the dude locks eyes with you and then you go blank as if you are addressing a stadium full of people. The Mrs makes it worse. When faced with the same situation she makes light work of it leaving me to fend for myself.

The success of the 'Sweet Nothings' are rated invariably with the reactions they invoke. While an immediate smile or laugh is met with instant gratification over the Whatsapp or Facetime video call, a turn of the head and worst still the pursing together of the lips leads to calls of banishment atleast for the remainder of that video call. Its a cruel world out there.

I am now convinced that its a conspiracy hatched by the Mrs in which the little one is equally involved. Because the other day when I uttered something sweet, he did manage a half-smile before getting a hold of himself, turning to the camera and letting out a big bawl.

So much for not holding him at that precise moment, I reminisce.