Thursday, November 29, 2012

The Curious Case of a 'Smart'phone

There is a reason why we are referred to as smartphones and it has got nothing to do with the humans who use us or even the apps which are available in the myriad appstores for us. There is something much more than that within us and it is that which makes us truly 'smart'!!! Humans don't really know that as yet and to tell you frankly it is better that way. There are some things which are better shielded from them so that they continue on their merry ways in 'wonderland'.

Now that you have got me talking let me narrate this case, a curious case if I may add which took place with me not too long ago. The more I think of it, the more I feel that it is not only a case or an incident but a fable. You know the stories which have a moral at the end of it only if you can see it for yourself.

Our fable begins in that place which can be both bright and murky at the same time – in the human mind!

Anuj was a happy boy, contented with the life he had carved for himself. While people around him flashed and waved their latest gizmos, he was happy changing the stations on his Sirius XM, more often than not stopping on the 'Chill Station'. Thus was his demeanor – chilled, until one fine day as it happens in most of the fables an idea hit him. The idea seemed so innocuous to start with that he had to go through with it. There was simply no downside and the upside was he was to end up with a 'smart'phone!!!

So off he went onto Craigslist and bought himself a 'smart'phone to set things rolling. He made sure before buying the phone that it was working as expected. Rishi, the guy who sold him that phone seemed a decent enough bloke. The next step was acquiring the SIM card, which was shipped without much delay by Walmart. Though the SIM had to be cut to be converted into a micro SIM to fit the latest smartphone, Anuj had no problem doing that. Ohh and yeah, and as if to get a pat on his back, Anuj did verify that the SIM he received was working fine by using his friend's cellphone. Now it is a different thing that even this charade was not easily accomplished, but then that is the thing with Anuj, there is nothing like a simple thing, each and everything has to be convoluted into something so complex that as time passes it is converted to a memory worth remembering!

  When he put the newly created micro SIM into his new smartphone, he was greeted with a message 'Not registered on network'. Without batting an eyelid, Anuj took Walmart to task and they 'meekly' agreed to ship another SIM. In a few days, the new SIM arrived. It was cut and put in the smartphone, again the same message was encountered. This time Walmart got the drift and said that the issue was not with the SIM but with the phone!!!! – Strike 1

Commonsense at this time, and I am sure you would agree, would have dictated that Anuj get in touch with Rishi and sort the matter out with him. But then if he would have done that we would not have had the fable in the first place, right??!! Anuj trusting his gut schedules a same day buy and sell on Craigslist. Sells the 'faulty' smartphone and with that money buys another smartphone. The sell comes crashing down within no time, as the guy who buys the 'faulty' smartphone comes to know the bug the moment he puts his SIM in the smartphone. Poor Anuj, who set out to just get one 'smart'phone, ends up with two and none of them any better!!!

If there is one thing you would have realized by now about Anuj is that he is never the one to back off from a challenge. 'If life gives me lemons, I will make lemon sherbet out of it' – is his motto and true to this, Anuj puts up the 'faulty' cellphone up for sale again. You ask why doesn't Anuj try and contact Rishi this time? Well, in his pursuit of having his Gmail inbox neat and tidy, Anuj by now had deleted all emails which would have given him the contact information needed to get in touch with Rishi!!! – Strike 2

I think at this time God wanted Anuj to realize that he is not the only one unfortunate soul on this planet and as luck would have it, Jonathan, whom Anuj dubbed as the 'Nigerian Ninja' without an iota of malice, took the bait and offered to buy the 'faulty' smartphone. Ofcourse this smartphone was not advertised as 'faulty' the way I am doing in quotes as I write this fable. But the Ninja was not to be fooled, within hours he saw through the ruse and wanted the trade reversed. Anuj tried his now famous 'cold shoulder' treatment, but the Ninja was not to be denied. He went on a spree of what Anuj terms to be threatening emails and as is the case when it comes to submissiveness - the desi relented!!! – Strike 3 and Anuj was out!!!!

I am sure you guys want to know more. You want to know answers to the obvious questions, as to what happened to the 'faulty' smartphone after that. Was Anuj finally able to get rid of it? Or has he resigned himself to the fact that this is the limit of 'smart'ness he will ever want to go to in his life?

You might very well argue that there has to be a happy ending to this tale? As I jot this down, I see that Anuj's other 'smart'phone is working fine and that he also has a phone number to go with it. If that is not a happy ending then what is!!!??

Now that the fable has ended I will go back to my 'Airplane' mode. There is only so much a 'faulty' smartphone can do I guess.

2 comments:

Nightflier said...

yay! fun read :)
like the smart phone's perspective narrative style ;)

Radhi said...

haha "faulty" phone is still chilling at home! captured the life of that phone very well :)