Breaking the Ice

If there is one aspect of communication which I have found both funny and exasperating then it must be the ICE BREAKER. Its the time when you have not really started conversing with a person but have just acknowledged his/her presence around you with a slight nod of the head or a smile. But then when the time comes to start a suitable conversation maybe work-related or just to pass time, you are well and truly stumped. And let me make this amply clear that for me this stumped feeling applies equally to both the genders.

The Business Communication program has a one day workshop on ‘How To Break The Ice’. The moment I read about it I enrolled not because I knew that it would help me with my own 'ice breaking' but because I just love to observe the expressions on the faces of people when they are awkward or even embarrassed. Apart from that I had a feeling that there will be a separate 10 min session where the instructor will declare to a room of 25 participants, “I have told you everything there is to know about 'breaking the ice', now go ahead BREAK THE ICE will ya??” and then we will pick up our shovel-like tongues and lash them with the effort to break the ice.

All said and done, the session went quite well. I had my share of happiness (observing awkward and embarrassed faces) and fun with the activities which were designed to make us learn how to break the ice. In the end when the instructor threw the floor open for any questions or feedback I was prompt to raise my query, “My query is pretty simple. It is obvious that using these techniques we will be able to 'break the ice' and start a decent conversation but then I have a feeling that all that you have told us today is so clichéd that the moment I start to employ any of these techniques with anyone outside the room he/she will definitely understand that I am trying my level best to break the ice. So how will it work? Will I not be ridiculed for trying too hard???”

What happened next made my entire week. The instructor, who was our Jedi Master until then made a face of such awkwardness and embarrassment that I knew she needed the Darth Vader mask. While the other participants appeared thoughtful even they knew that all the time spent in this session was to be wasted. Somewhere I realized that I had just unleashed an idea which will bug everyone present there for the rest of their professional and personal lives. The idea that the person with whom they are conversing for the first time realizes even before they start that this is but an exercise in ‘breaking the ice’ and hence futile …

The instructor managed to mumble, “No no its not like that. How can you assume that the person in front of you is aware of all this?” I didn’t press the matter for I knew she didn’t have a suitable retort.

As the session ended and people started to file out of the room, she began gathering her stuff. I waited for the last of the participants to leave the room and then went up to her. She looked up at me and did not smile. I didn’t except anything better either. After all I was the cause for her rather poor session feedback.

“How about grabbing a coffee at the food court?”, I asked nonchalantly. She narrowed her eyes and replied, “Are you trying to 'break the ice' here or what?”. I smiled and said, “Sometimes it is that simple….”