Vidya ka pahela Landline phone

The year was 1991 and Vidya (that is the name of the society where I grew up in Nashik) got its first Landline phone. It was the Dixits who lived in Flat No 1, who got not one but two connections after waiting for a period of 13 months. They needed the phones, after all Mr. Dixit was an entrepreneur and landlines were the only sources then to stay connected. Like everybody in our society, even I was enthralled. I felt a bit jealous too, cos Chinmay (their son and my very good friend) would nonetheless brag about it. Mind you the first colour TV in Vidya Society was owned by the Borate’s. A multi channeled (8 channels in all) ONIDA TV without remote . We used to have quite a gathering at our place to watch Mahabharata on Sunday mornings, but now the tide had turned. By the time the Dixits got the phone, every household in the society had got a TV. So the colour TV was passé and the LANDLINE was the tr(IN)g thing.

We were a close knit society, meaning the architect of the society had achieved such an acoustical feat that any noise from 1 flat could be clearly heard in the remaining 9 flats. Also, it was a marvel of visibility, you just had to peer through a crack of your kitchen window and you could see who was visiting whom. I always thought that the architect was a descendant of the guy who built those forts for Shivaji Maharaj (NOM!!!).

So when the khaki clad VSNL guys (BSNL did not exist then) barged in the front gate of the society and shouted loud for Mr Dixit from the parking, we knew it had arrived. Even before Mr Dixit could get out, the VSNL men were surrounded by curious neighbors and even more curious kids. And a conversation ensued:

Neighbor 1 (The Chairman of the Society): What is there in the box?

VSNL man # 1 (looking him up and down): Who is Mr Dixit?

Neighbor 1: He will be coming, but tell me what is there in the box?

VSNL man # 2 : What is the name?

Neighbor 1 (feeling important): Professor XXXXXX!!!

VSNL man # 1: Hey, not your name!!! The Society’s name.

Neighbor 1 (looking around to see if anybody heard tht. By that time others had covered their laughing faces): Vidya, I am the chairman of the society.

VSNL man # 2 (looking bored and to no one in particular): Who is this Mr Dixit??

Chinmay (finally managed the courage to speak up): Err….dad is coming.!!!

VSNL man #1 to # 2: People only want us to give the connections on time. Now when we are here they are not even showing up. Plus today is Sunday. You don’t know what all I had to suffer at home for this!!!

Chinmay (making a small face and calling out): Babaaaaa

And before the long shout could end, out walked Mr Dixit. He looked immensely fresh for a Sunday afternoon. Now it was clear, all this while he was preparing for the VSNL men. The shirt and the trouser were freshly ironed. There was just one crease left on the shirt, I saw. Only if Chinmay would have delayed that last shout by a few seconds, I was sure Dixit kaka would have got that too.

Mr Dixit: Sorry huh,I was a bit held up. Had to attend an important call

VSNL men (perplexed): Call!!!! Means you already have a phone connection!!!!

Even the crowd was taken aback. Mr Dixit had a phone already and he never told them. Mr Joshi tried to recall the telephone department rules which mandated somebody to wait for a minimum of 3 years before registering for another connection if he had an existing one.

Mr Dixit (feeling awkward): Arre not that call, THAT call!!! You come inside na…please please do come

I wonder how the others had missed the relieved look on his face!!!

VSNL men (not convinced): Hmm ok. But first we will have to check.

Mr Dixit: Yes why not..why not..

And they entered the house. Mr Dixit wanted to close the door immediately but it was just not possible to be impolite. The junta followed much to his displeasure. All the possible seats in the drawing room were occupied and the children spilt onto the floor.

Even before the VSNL men started their job, Mrs Dixit walked out with 2 cups of tea. The neighbors did not mind this, after all the VSNL men were the MEN who mattered the most!!! They finished their tea and also demanded some biscuits and then when they were satisfied they set out to work. The boxes were opened and the phones were laid out on the side table right next to the sofa. People started taking turns to see the phones, as if they had never seen a landline. Well it was partially true, they had never seen a landline in the drawing room of a house before.

After 30 mins the VSNL men drove off in their van leaving in their wake many marveled souls. It was as if a couple of God sent angels had just saved the day and even vanished before the mortals could say a thank you. Mr Dixit did pay his homage to the angels by giving them Rs 10 as a token of appreciation. They accepted it and smiled too.

But after that the Dixits realized that, “With Great Power, Came Great Responsibility”. Now they had the enormous task of respectfully juggling the neighbors. Every night after about 8:30pm just when Mr Dixit thought that he could relax and spend some time with his family, there would be a knock on the door. A neighbor would walk in with a plate containing some sweet or the other. Mr Dixit could not refuse it out of decency and then the neighbor would get into a conversation. After 10 mins into the conversation he would slowly take out his phone diary from his upper shirt pocket and inch closer to the phone. Mr Dixit would understand and leave the drawing room for some reason. With Mr Dixit out of sight the neighbor would call out, “Arre ek call karu ka!!!”. Mr Dixit would have no option but to say ,” Ho ho, ka nahi aaplach phone samjha!!!”

This went on for a couple of weeks and Mr Dixit had to do something. He had to retaliate without disturbing the delicate relationship with the neighbors and he got it. Whenever he heard the knock on the door in the night, he simply used to pull the phone line from under the instrument. He also decided not to leave the guest alone lest he found the courage to actually look around and find that the wire was disconnected in which case he would have to join it back and everytime the phone went dead the other neighbors would also look for the disconnected wire.

It worked. In a few days time the neighbors got the hint. They stopped disturbing him. Now the phone was used only when really required and in the due course of time everybody got their own connections.

As times changed the landline became out of fashion and mobiles started ruling the roost (they do so even now). I have a prepaid connection, sometimes when I run out of balance and ask for my roommates’ cell to make a call, I cannot stop but remember Vidya, the first Landline and ofcourse Mr Dixit and his subtle tactics!!!!

(Disclaimer: Though the names used in this article are real, the dialogues are imaginary. What do you expect a 6 yr old to remember :p)